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So, after meditating
with some rocks
in my poetry office,
I went outside
and sat
on the patio,
and while there,
I thought about
insentient life
and about
trying to communicate
with it,
so I walked around
my back yard
and meditated
with trees
and rocks
and plants
and weeds
and flowers
and I thought
that all of these
were somehow
talking to me,
but don't ask me
how I knew
because I'm pretty crazy.
I am almost always
facing a choice
and usually
either way
is just
six of one
half a dozen
of the other,
but sometimes
there is a way
which is more risky
and another way
which is more safe,
but I have been taught
that I've got to take
some risks in life
and I have been taught
that it's always good
to play it safe,
so it's six of one
half a dozen
of the other,
and sometimes
there is a way
which is more right
and another way
which is more wrong,
but right and wrong
are not always clear
and we don't want
to break Buddha's laws
by doing anything wrong,
even though I do sometimes,
but I make sure
that if I possibly can,
to not break man's laws,
because if I do,
then I'm really
screwed.
In the mind
I have a dream
or an illusory imagining
of a man
who was a Christian monk
who was practicing numerology
as one of his disciplines
and since
he was so deeply involved
in the Bible
naturally the book
of Revelations
interested him
with that strange number
of 666
that was said to be
the number of the beast
and he studied it
along with all the other numbers
in order to try
to understand its meaning
and in doing so
he went insane
and wound up in an insane asylum
and as it says
in the Bible
that number
is very difficult to understand
and only those
with great wisdom
can understand it.
An artist said
that good photography
is not so interesting,
what is interesting
is bad photography,
and I thought
that he was right
and began taking
bad photography,
but my bad photography
began to look bad
to me,
so after a guy said
that he thought
that some things
are better than others,
I began trying
to take better photography,
but it's still
pretty bad,
as I noticed
this morning
when I took my daily photograph
and then
deleted it.
As I approach
being sixty years old,
I sometimes worry
about my fifty or so a day
cigarette habit,
but it occured to me
today
that peace of mind
is just feeling safe,
and I know
that smokers
never really feel safe
because, you know,
they tell us
that these ciggies
will kill us,
so I am reminded
of Buddha's last meal,
and how he knew
that it was poison
and would kill him,
but he accepted it
gratefully,
and said that it
was his second best meal ever.
I never liked that song,
"My Way",
because I thought
the singer thought
that he was such
a big deal
for doing it
his way,
and I think
that it is obvious
that we all have
to do it our way,
because there isn't
anybody else
doing it,
and I got so wrecked up
that I turned to religion
where they say
that you have to do it
their way,
and that wrecked me up worse,
and I even wanted
somebody else
to control me
so that I would do it right
but that's not possible,
so I'm doing it my way
because there isn't
any other way.
I have begun
to begin my day
with a song
and a dance
in the back yard
to the great everything
which is nothing
and this song
is sung
in a language
that I don't know,
it is spontaneous
singing
of words
from the mind
and the dance
is usually slow
and with an attempt
at grace
with my hands
in a interesting position
flowing around me
and I bow
before and after
and when I am done,
I have a nice buzz.
So my neighbor
came over
and he said,
"So, we're just
little bits
of ectoplasm,
but we're magic
because of our thinking
and our creativity.
What does Zen say?"
So I said,
"Zen says
that our whole body/mind
is emptiness
and this whole world
is emptiness,
and then
it goes on to say
that our body/mind
and the whole world
aren't real
and that even
the emptiness
isn't real,
so as the Beatles sang
"Nothing is real
and nothing to get hung about"
so go figure that."
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